“Night at the Movies!”

“Night at the Movies!”

July 3rd, 2010

Remember how awesome it was when a TV network aired a Hollywood movie? Just think: the opportunity to watch a movie that was in theaters half-a-decade ago (which you’ve already seen numerous times on video) – edited for content and interrupted with commercial breaks! OnDemand and Netflix may have killed these programs forever, but YouTube has a bunch of their opening themes online. And I’ve compiled some of my favorites.

I think what I like most about these “Night at the Movies” openings is the fucking attitude they display. Make no doubt about it: these networks think they’re HOT SHIT for airing these movies. And to see them show off with bold music and slick graphics (marquee lights – always marquee lights) is really endearing in retrospect. It’s the equivalent of a nerd wearing a leather jacket and Ray-Bans. Anyway. Enjoy!

1. ABC Sunday Night Movie (1982)

The opening music is like “Prepare yourself for the most spectacular fucking thing in the world,” but by the time the final graphic pops up at :25, it’s like: “My little penis is weird and gross.”

2. CBS Saturday Night Movie (1979)

I’d like to think that whenever this intro aired, every family in America simultaneously sprang from their couches and broke into a choreographed dance routine in their living rooms. (An associate from CBS traveled to every home in America and taught them dance moves)

3. NBC Monday Night at the Movies (1987)

Hey NBC, look what some “Night Court” money can buy! Also, NBC’s tag line should be: “Watching a Movie on a Monday Night: It’ll Make You Feel Weird!”

4. CBS Storybreak (1985)

Ok, this isn’t technically a “Night at the Movie” intro, but just listen to that electric guitar!

5. HBO Feature Presentation (1983)

This was for HBO, so I’m cheating again, but holy shit, does it hold up! The intro to end all intros. It’s so monumental that by the end, the sky’s vagina opens up and births the HBO logo (for reals).

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